Choosing an Attorney

Choosing the right attorney is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in your divorce process. It’s a choice you’ll likely make early, and getting it right from the start can make a significant difference in the outcome of your case. Don’t be swayed by flashy billboards, catchy slogans, or even glowing online reviews—many of those 4- and 5-star ratings can be fake or written by bots.

When you begin your search for a divorce attorney in Utah, you'll find plenty of options. Start close to home, then expand your search radius as needed. Don’t hesitate to drive further if the right attorney isn’t in your immediate area—it’s worth the extra effort to find someone who’s truly a good fit.

As you build your list of potential attorneys, read their online reviews—but focus first on the negative ones. These often reveal more than the positives. Pay close attention to how attorneys respond to criticism. A defensive, dismissive, or unprofessional response can be an early red flag. How an attorney handles negative feedback says a lot about their character, professionalism, and how they might treat you.

Next, visit their websites. This is your opportunity to do some real due diligence. What do they emphasize? Does their messaging align with your needs? Look for attorneys who show experience with cases like yours—especially if you anticipate a difficult or high-conflict divorce.

If your case ends up in court, it's critical to hire someone who has real courtroom experience. Many attorneys prefer to settle behind closed doors, which might not serve you well if litigation becomes necessary. The right lawyer should be adaptable, responsive, and able to think strategically—not just reactively.

During consultations (which are often the only free part of the attorney-client relationship), ask targeted questions:

• Do they have recent trial experience?

• How do they handle high-conflict or drawn-out cases?

• Are they more collaborative or aggressive, and which approach fits your needs?

• How accessible will they be throughout your case?

Finally, trust your gut. If an attorney seems rushed, inattentive, or dismissive during your consultation, that’s a red flag. A good attorney listens carefully and takes time to understand your unique circumstances. If that connection isn’t there, move on to the next name on your list.

DO NOT do anything rash before consulting an attorney. Example - moving out of the marital home on your own, to find peace, in an attempt to deescalate the situation. Makes sense right? Unfortunately, you could potentially lose all rights to your own home.

Understanding Divorce Grounds in Utah: No-Fault vs. Fault-Based

When filing for divorce in Utah, you must choose a legal basis—or “grounds”—for ending the marriage. These grounds fall into two main categories: No-Fault and Fault-Based.

No-Fault Divorce

Most people choose the No-Fault route because it’s generally faster, simpler, and requires less evidence. Under this category, there are two options:

1. Irreconcilable Differences – This is the most common ground and indicates that the marriage has broken down beyond repair.

2. Living Separately for Three Consecutive Years – This applies if the spouses have lived apart without cohabitation for at least three years.

Fault-Based Divorce

Fault-based grounds require proving that one spouse is legally at fault for the breakdown of the marriage. There are eight fault-based options in Utah:

1. Impotency at the time of marriage

2. Adultery

3. Willful desertion for more than one year

4. Willful neglect

5. Habitual drunkenness

6. Felony conviction

7. Cruel treatment causing bodily injury or great mental distress

8. Incurable insanity

While filing under a fault-based ground can potentially influence certain outcomes (such as custody or alimony), it’s important to understand the challenges involved. These cases require a substantial amount of credible evidence, often collected over long periods of time. Even then, Utah’s family court system may not give significant weight to fault claims, especially if the judge believes a No-Fault resolution is more appropriate.

Navigating Temporary Orders

Temporary orders are among the most critical—and potentially devastating—aspects of a divorce case. These early rulings can drastically impact your finances, mental and emotional well-being, and most importantly, your relationship with your children.

For many parents, particularly fathers, temporary orders can feel like a legal ambush. These decisions are often made quickly and can take months or even years to modify—if they’re ever reversed at all. In most cases, they remain in effect until the final divorce decree is issued, no matter how unjust or unbalanced the original ruling may have been.

Temporary custody orders, for example, can leave your children caught in a confusing and emotionally damaging limbo. They may be forced into an arrangement that disrupts their sense of security and stability, living in what feels like a form of legal purgatory while the case drags on.

The financial impact can be equally severe. A temporary order may require you to support two households, even while being limited in the time you can spend with your own children. The result can be overwhelming debt, emotional exhaustion, and in many cases, clinical depression. They can also lead to uncharacteristic physical violence and sadly even suicide.

Perhaps the most troubling aspect of temporary orders is how easily they can be obtained by one spouse, often based on unverified allegations. A parent can file a declaration filled with exaggerations or outright falsehoods, and the court may act on it without requiring any immediate proof. You could be a fully involved, loving, and responsible parent—yet still find yourself losing equal custody, solely on the strength of accusations that go unchallenged in the early stages.

Worse yet, the opposing attorney is under no obligation to fact-check or validate the claims they are making on behalf of your ex. That responsibility falls on you.

Timing matters. If temporary orders are unavoidable, filing them first can sometimes give you an advantage in shaping the narrative. But once issued, these orders can be extremely difficult to undo. That’s why understanding the risks—and preparing thoroughly before you enter court—is absolutely essential.

Commissioners

In Utah’s family court system, the sheer volume of cases has overwhelmed the courts, prompting the use of Commissioners—judicial officers who assist in managing the caseload under the “supervision” of district court judges. While they are not judges, Commissioners preside over nearly all preliminary hearings and motions in family law cases.

Your first in-court experiences—often some of the most critical—will likely be before a Commissioner, not the judge ultimately assigned to your case. Commissioners typically handle:

• Motions for temporary custody and support orders

• Requests for a Guardian ad Litem

• Motions to terminate alimony (such as for cohabitation)

• Petitions for protective orders

Though Commissioners command the same respect in the courtroom as judges, many litigants—especially fathers—report a troubling lack of neutrality. It is not uncommon to hear concerns about perceived bias, particularly a reluctance to make rulings that place mothers at a disadvantage, even in cases where strong evidence supports doing so.

In my own case, the Commissioner had multiple opportunities to intervene and improve the situation—but instead, their inaction only made matters worse. Unfortunately, Commissioners are rarely held accountable for the consequences of their decisions. They operate behind a layer of procedural distance—you cannot speak to them directly, and motions are often heard in rushed, one-sided hearings with limited opportunity for meaningful argument.

For fathers, dealing with Commissioners can be among the most disheartening and frustrating parts of the entire divorce process. Decisions made at this stage can carry long-term consequences, and yet the hearings are frequently constrained by time, influenced by incomplete context, and disconnected from the real-life financial and emotional tolls involved.

Compounding the problem is the sluggish pace of the system. It can take months to get a hearing before a Commissioner—and even longer to appear before the judge assigned to your case. In most instances, you won’t see your judge until the very end of the process, when final decisions are made.

Make sure you visit the Real Talk section for more direct information on Commissioners.

Guardian ad Litems (GALs)

Guardian ad Litems are court-appointed attorneys who may be requested when children are involved in a divorce or custody case. Their appointment must be approved by a Commissioner, typically in situations involving physical or sexual abuse, neglect, or a contested or potentially unfair custody arrangement.

A GAL serves as a neutral third party whose sole responsibility is to advocate for the best interests of the children. Once appointed, the GAL should arrange to meet individually with each parent and each child—without the presence of either parent during the children’s interviews. A thorough and competent GAL will take the time to understand the full context of your situation, make multiple efforts to gather accurate information, communicate reliably and avoid personal biases in order to provide a fair and balanced recommendation.

In my own experience, I had high hopes for the GAL involved in my case. Unfortunately, the process turned out to be incredibly frustrating and disappointing. (We'll explore this more candidly in the “Real Talk” section.)

After conducting their investigation, the GAL will submit a formal recommendation to the court. It’s important to understand that GALs do not make final decisions—they simply advise the judge based on their findings. The judge will review their report at the end of your case, during your final hearing. While not officially confirmed, it is commonly believed that judges follow GAL recommendations the majority of the time.

Utah Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS)

The Utah Division of Child and Family Services (DCFS) is a state agency under the Utah Department of Health and Human Services. Its mission is to protect children from abuse, neglect, and dependency, and to strengthen families through services, interventions, and, when necessary, legal action.

What DCFS Does

1. Child Protection

DCFS investigates reports of:

• Physical abuse

• Sexual abuse

• Neglect

• Emotional maltreatment
  If a report is substantiated, DCFS may intervene to ensure the child's safety, which can include services for the family or temporary removal of the child.

2. Family Preservation and Reunification

• DCFS offers support services to help families stay together when safe.

• If children are removed from the home, DCFS works toward reunifying them with their families if it’s safe and appropriate.

3. Foster Care and Adoption

If reunification isn't possible, DCFS places children in foster care and may work to find permanent adoptive homes.

4. Support Services

They may provide:

• Parenting classes

• Substance abuse treatment referrals

• Counseling

• Supervised visitation services

In my case, to date DCFS has been called twice by third party individuals. One by the police, and once by a councilor. In both instances, DCSF was less than helpful. We will discuss DCSF more in Real Talk.